She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
