9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
