i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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