So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
