Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
