I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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