You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize