While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
