I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
