She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
