you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Randomize
