I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Thank you for not boning my boss.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize