That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
