He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
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