You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'm both gender and math confused
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
