and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
You're earring is so big in my mouth
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
this is an emotional support booty call
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
