Welp...herpes.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm at about main and main street
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
