Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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