so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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