i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
