Define "chronic" masturbator.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
