if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
