Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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