i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
