also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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