and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
