good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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