...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
