i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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