Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I could make wine with my vomit
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Randomize
