new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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