I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
