i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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