ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
