it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
