you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
