Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
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