And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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