I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
