why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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