i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize