I wanna bring you to show and tell
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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