I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I am in a vortex of obligation.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
