I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Drake has all the answers
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
