I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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