Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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