Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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