i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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