bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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