I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
My brain says no but my pants say off.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
