so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
This is my gift to your gina
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
