My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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