So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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