Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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