so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
if i died would you start the facebook group?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I yelled at your uterus for you.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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