I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
