I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
