The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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